Thursday, June 29, 2006

Return To The King...Or The Queen

To: Her Most Gracious Majesty, Elizabeth the Second, by the Grace of God, of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland and of Her other Realms and Territories Queen, Head of the Commonwealth, Defender of the Faith.


Your Majesty, Greetings

I write to you this day to offer you our complete and total conditional surrender as a former colony in Rebellion. It is with a grave heart and wounded spirit that I herewith offer to you renewed dominion over the American Colonies and fealty as a liegeman in vassalage. Ours was a foolhardy venture, as has become abundantly clear in recent years and one which should not be repeated at any time in the future. Liberties such as were envisioned by the Rebels now known to some Americans as "The Founders" are entirely too heady and burdensome a thing for the common man to bear.

While the chimera of a nation based upon the egalitarian principles promulgated by the original American Rebels was a laudable exercise in the abstract, it is glaringly obvious even to the ill educated denizens of our Government Schools that the Grand Experiment must now be pronounced a failure. Having suffered such a failure the obvious, logical and rational conclusion to this Enterprise is a return to that form of Governance which we so unjustly threw off 230 years ago.

And so, I adjure Your Majesty to once again assume the Reins of Power over this, Her former Colony and grant relief to your most Humble Subjects in their time of desolation and need.

I do hesitantly add that Ours is a Conditional Surrender, and as such we humbly importune Her Majesty to take under consideration our Terms in return for our readmission as a Member of the Commonwealth Realm.

Term the First: That the system of Government of the Commonwealth Realm be at once returned to that of a true Monarchy; and that all forms of Representative and Republican Governance be repudiated and deemed Outlaw. As we in the America's have seen this form of Government is in particular entirely too vulnerable to the predations of the Lowest and Most Base of Persons who cannot be trusted to insure the Welfare of their Constituents.

It is in the best interests of those who would Submit themselves to the oversight of others to have as their Overseer one person rather than a multitude. With Her Majesty and her Successors in Power and at the Helm of the Ship of State, Her subjects shall always know with Whom the ultimate responsibility for all Good or Ill lays, unlike the Representative System. No longer shall The People be left in the Dark to wonder, or be forced to listen to the Prevarications of Base Men and Women as they attempt to ascertain the truth of Events.

Term The Second: We, your most humble servants would request that levels of Taxation be maintained at current levels and possibly lowered. As the Rates of Taxation in Great Britain are currently on a level that many in the America's are already familiar with and there more services Granted for Monies Seized, it is likely that Americans will rapidly find their place within Her Majesty's System of State Health and Welfare. Truly, a large number of Americans have clamored for just such a system for decades and now they shall be granted their most fervent wish granted.

Term The Third: As many Americans are already conversant with the Laws regarding Firearms and Her Majesties Subjects it is suggested that Prudence and Patience be the Guiding Principle in implementing Current Law in this regard. As evidence clearly shows the People of the Colonies are now, more than ever willing to disarm and submit themselves to Civil Rule and Requirements of Permission where Firearms are concerned. Licensing is already common in many locales, as are restrictions on types of weapons, storage, sales and ownership. We beg Her Majesty to take an accommodating posture as regards this matter.

Term The Fourth: An Establishment of an American Aristocracy will be a Most Welcome addition to Americans and will be met with open arms and accolades from an adoring public. The fascination with the Aristocracy of Her Majesty's Court and family has never been far from the eyes and ears of Americans who hunger for news of their betters. More than ample proof of this attitude abounds in the Press, on Television, in Books and the Cinema. Your Most Grateful Subjects hunger for a renewed and legitimate Aristocracy, rather than the counterfeit Aristocracy of the Nouveau Riche, Politically Connected, Vainglorious Thespians and Self-Serving Intellectuals which represent the current artificial American Aristocracy. We long for the Crown appointed Peerage which will lend legitimacy and stability to our now Fragmented Nation.

Term The Fifth and Final: We Beseech Her Majesty to take an eye for the future of the Realm and establish a new line of Succession for the Throne. Your American subjects will need a firm hand in the years to come and will require a Ruler with firm resolve, stern demeanor and Resolute Character. The current Heir to the Throne possesses none of the qualities which of necessity shall be required to Rule the New and Greater Realm. Once our return to the Commonwealth has been successfully accomplished the greatest Military Power upon the planet will once again reside in the hands of the Crown and the Leader of that Power must command the respect of that most puissant and overwhelming force. The current Heir to the throne is entirely too reminiscent of those who currently Rule your most pitiable subjects. The People of the Americas have made it abundantly clear that they are desirous of a Strong, Iron Willed and Determined Master to Rule over them, Guide them and Mete out Justice, Freedoms and Liberty as They see fit.

The Great American Experiment closes not as it opened, Your Majesty. No shot is heard around world, no grand insurrection or Declarations of Independence stand here as things begin the inevitable winding down. Only the Resolute slide into Tyranny, Dictatorship and Plutocracy remain to us. Freedom and Liberty as once envisioned by the Rebels of 1776 are naught but a memory to all but a handful of reversionist Libertarians who will pose little danger to a Strong and Renewed Crown.

The UK which many profess to Fear is little different than the Nation they now inhabit. Identification Papers are papers, regardless of issuer. Surveillance is neither more, nor less intrusive or onerous whether it is an Instrument of the Crown or of a Centralised "Representative" Federal Government. Seeing little difference in the two we are left with but one true choice, to once again place ourselves at the Command of the Crown, as Loyal and Faithful Subjects. With a return to the Proper Role of the Monarchy and a seating of Responsibility for all Events once more Vested in the Throne the people of America will be content to rest, once more under the watchful gaze of our Once and Future Ruler.

We place ourselves, once more at Your Tender Mercy and await your Return.

I Remain, Your Faithful Future Subject.


Technorati Tags:
, , ,

1 comment:

Sunni said...

Bloody brilliant!!!